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Suckling on Saturday night .... Round and round

Today, just as the kitchen of canned tuna, I heard the news (or rather I should say to "Open Studio", the word news could mislead) that the penalties are more severe towards the drivers in a state of intoxication. Within 15 minutes, after finding the word in the dictionary thrill: "When you dummies like donkeys," I was seized with terror.
In fact, the penalties have been strengthened considerably in the last month .... If, before the punishment consisted of fines, loss of points and in extreme cases stop, now these penalties are not enough and we are moving towards ever more exemplary sanctions.
Who has a value between 0.5 and 0.8: fines, loss of points, slapping, sexual humiliation of your measurements with the help dell'extracomunitario
Mutombo ... Who has a value between 0.8 and 1 , 2: fine, loss of all points, heavy insinuations about the morality of your mother, you scratch the car and force you to drink a slush
very fast ... If its value ranges between 1.2 and 1.5: fine , loss of all points of your license, and half of that of your dad, your favorite team's relegation, explosion and physical violence of your car to your pets ...
Those values \u200b\u200bare higher than 1.5: and your eternal damnation of your descendants for the next seven generations.
Many alternative ways that young people use to save themselves from the shackles of the law: hire rickshaws, teach your dog to drive, learn to fly ... and those with less imagination acquire a lot of butts in the car. In the end it seems to abolish the Saturday night so that we know that only serves to get drunk.
I have already found a solution, I will work at Open Studio, I ubriacre to see what they do after those who are drunk negroni (Open Studio for young people drink only Negron), "after 8 Eccjo Negroni, I punched a alcoliko of 2.4 .... I wanted to tell ***** (female name at random), you acted like% $ & tr ... "

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A horrible monster called Pingu

One of my greatest victories of my life was when I stopped being afraid of the dark, and left the infamous "little light", what happened now tralaltro 3-4 weeks ago.
All of us have our fears, sometimes very specific, there are those who suffer from octofobia (fear the number 8), those of lutrafobia (fear of otters), D & Gfobia (fear of outlets and factory stores), GlennGrantfobia (fear of the bitter orange) or Schiavonfobia (fear of people sober). I suffer from a fear even worse. ... The Pingufobia, fear of Pingu the young and cute penguin made of clay and cow dung that cheers the morning of the children. Also I have started watching it like any other children during the breakfast before going to primary school .... But soon I noticed that the lip-reading (as a child have long been convinced that he is mute), which is challenging since the bad pronunciation of 80% of the Penguins, I noticed that Pingu said phrases like "Shulz have sexual relations!" "I will eat your insides lightly marinated in a broth of my preparation," "Shulz your chiropodist will suffer." Then, probably during assembly was dubbed with a series of UUUuuuUUU more peaceful and reassuring.
also talking to my old childhood friend, Dodo tree blue, I knew when I worked as a volunteer in the "Clinical Primer for Rockefeller Puppet alcoholics," I discovered more gruesome details. Repeat three times in a row Pingu it appears in your house and commit crimes as abhorrent murdering his grandmother, rigarti the car or repainting the bathroom walls with garish colors and never in the same color as the floor mats.
Also there seems to be movement in a tape recorded by the criminal Pingu in person, who sees it, after 4 days 3 hours and 12 minutes (which is the amount of our week in the calendar pinguesco) Pingu finds himself in the living room that forced him to see all the episodes of the last two years ... with the Elixir.

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See if the weather is shit when you have something to do

Our area is notorious for its calm and tranquility, there are never any big news or social events. ... I still remember when the Gazzettino Borgomanero went for 7 consecutive weeks on the front page with the update on the situation of ' ingrown nail of my aunt, or when title to columns 9: YESTERDAY'S ALSO NOT A SUCCESSFUL POKER! For this so when events are planned, as the now infamous "White Nights", the expectation and excitement are very high. Too bad that the organizers to choose the date for the event have not consulted a weather calendar (calendar useful for his licks at the bottom to the different dates: December 2, attention may be cold, June 6, put on your shorts or you'll sweaty feet, February 30, look at this date may not exist) or I would have immediately noticed that the white night fell right in the middle of the so-called "Monsoon Novara. Novara
The monsoons are a relatively short period, usually 3-4 days, caused by the effects of the cross "Nino" global warming and people who drink too much in Santo Stefano, where it rains a lot .... A drop of rain is the average size of the bidet Giuliano Ferrara. The evening was not obviously damaged, especially long tables for the expectations of the courses, also canceled. Only one person has decided to eat outside anyway, Mr. Crab Cerutti, although the latter has taken 6 hours to finish his soup. Were also a hairdressing competitions and evening dance with the sounds of the Eastern Desert of Sahara, "which see's all that water is taken hysterical. Blockbuster, however, for the first world championship of bronchopneumonia.
Tragedy in the world of sport, during a league match CSI (Soccer Filthy Interpreted) the dwarven wing of the local team, Giantappo Rossi, who ended in a flooded area of \u200b\u200bthe field where he did not touch it drowned. Ready the answer of the President of the club "Cancel the game for what? It is not that when there are less than 50 cm of water in the field see the difference .... "